My Cancer Doesn't Suck

A little while ago I posted a YouTube video on why I don't think my cancer "sucks".  That seems to be the going sentiment in my group of social media friends, that Cancer Sucks!, and it has always bothered me.  Until it became personal I couldn't really express how I felt, certainly not in a way that might not have been considered disrespectful of other's feelings.  I hadn't walked in their shoes, and still haven't; each individual's experience is different.

My short video doesn't really do justice to how I feel.  Here's what I mean to say.

• To say that something "sucks" diminishes it.  The phrase is best applied to little stuff that doesn't really make a difference in the big picture.  Like missing out on low gas prices because you procrastinated on filling up.  That sucks, and it's small stuff.  A diagnosis of cancer IS the big picture, particularly if one, like me, learns that there is no cure in the foreseeable future, and further, with mesothelioma there is no foreseeable future.  It is a fast moving, nasty disease.

• I think it's too easy to copy and paste a "Cancer Sucks" meme, so it's the lack of effort that not only bothers me, but again, the failure to even scratch the surface of how the disease affects families, friends and co-workers.

• It's hard to be continually told that my "cancer sucks" from well-meaning friends.  It's not very encouraging or uplifting, and it's not at all how I feel.  Perhaps a way around it for someone reaching out for the first time, unsure and bit nervous, is to ask.  "How do you feel?" or even "How do you feel about all of this?"  I am very appreciative that almost every friend has asked the follow-up question, "how are the kids doing with all this?"  Warms my heart.

• And finally, for any of us in this home to say "cancer sucks" is like giving in to self-pity and woe.  In this house we openly discuss this disease and all (and I do mean ALL) of its ramifications.  But it doesn't define us and it's not the only thing we talk about.  For example, we all seem to agree that the 2013/2014 Leafs SUCKED!

My cancer doesn't suck and here's why.  It is a reality, an ever-changing new normal, and a fact-of-life we, my family and I, live with every day, unflinching, head on, and one step at a time.  We are not being brave or courageous because in order to be either, you have to first be afraid. We are not afraid.  We don't like any of this, we are not looking forward to some of it, but we are not afraid.  We are neither fighting nor battling cancer; I'd hate for you to read those words in my obituary.  We are living with today's reality today in a way that makes good medical, spiritual and common sense for us.

Tomorrow's reality will come tomorrow, and we'll face it head on, then.

Unfriend

"Unfriend"  What a nasty word to describe the process of releasing one's on-line Facebook contacts from the burden of seeing another status update about your baby, puppy or hip replacement.

Disconnecting from the social media connection doesn't necessarily mean a friendship has ended, although I suppose it could.  Here are some other reasons one might "unfriend"

• You're a one-trick pony.  The only thing you ever post about is your cause, whether it be environmental, your sexual-orientation, politics, unions or all of the above if you're a member of the NDP.
• Unless your one trick is sports.  Then it's kind of cool.
• Your bring us down.  You're negative and judgmental.  You're soooo hard done, by everyone you come in contact with:
•  your mailman, 
• the lady in front of you at the supermarket, 
• your waiter/front desk attendant/housekeeper/anyone making minimum wage, 
• the guy texting in the car beside yours (while you update your status).
• We wouldn't recognize each other in public - either literally since we only see each other on Facebook, or figuratively if one of us doesn't want anything to do with the other in real life.  If we can't be friends in real life, I'm not sure how we can call each other friends on the world wide interweb. 

That's why I don't get all bent if I notice I've been unfriended.  I hope I'm not guilty of any of the above, but perhaps, in someone's eyes, I am.

It's cool.  I'm still good for a coffee, in person.

Read this great article

#bullytweet

I shudder to use the word "bully" to describe anything other than actual bullying, of which I have experienced very little in my life, either as victim or perpetrator.  I'm not saying I haven't, I'm saying it was nowhere near as widespread as it appears to be today.  As it appears to be today...

I have, however, witnessed a few prominent personalities on Twitter using their 140 characters to bully tweet.  In 140 characters or less, here's my definition:

#bullytweet: Influential social media "celeb" identifying business by Twitter handle to be overcompensated for real or perceived slights  A person who bully tweets is a #twit. 

You see, when you name the business there's a good chance their social media person will catch it, and rush to overcompensate to avoid public relations damage.  I once watched a weekly TV consumer show take a company to task because they had tweeted a problem, and a full 30 minutes later they had not been contacted.  Wow, they had to wait 30 minutes.  They could have asked for the manager on duty, had the conversation, solved the problem and been on their way home in less time.

• Not long ago I followed a well-known twit as she had a meltdown and blamed her intern for deleting some very important files.  There is no doubt that her intern follows her on Twitter and must have been humiliated.  She went on to berate me with uncomplimentary nicknames for pointing it out.  #twit #bullytweet
• Recently a renowned twit and keynote speaker decided to name his hotel in a 140 character complaint about the view from his room.  If memory serves, this same guy whined about his kid's cheeseburger at McDonald's, identifying the location and an employee.  #twit #bullytweet
• A well followed travel expert tweeted about a problem in his hotel room, and fortunately the manager happened to follow this guy and had someone knocking on his door with a solution in less than 10 minutes.  Unfortunately there was no follow-up tweet of appreciation. #twit #bullytweet

It seems to me there was a time when one just picked up the phone and called the front desk when you had a problem. 

Back then, however, the whole world would never know how so very important you are, in 140 characters or less.

No #twits were named in this blog.

Ain't Nothing Free

I have a friend, a social media expert, who advises never to pay for anything on the internet you could otherwise get for free.  Good advice, and I have followed it.  Good advice, but not great advice.

As a result, I have free apps on my smartphone that do half the job, which is fine when it's only half a job I need.  And so, from time to time, my knowledge is incomplete (by half) but my wallet remains full. 

Trouble is, ain't nobody looking in my wallet.  They're just listening, reading, waiting for me and wondering why I don't always have the full picture.

Ain't nothing free.  There's a whole lot of something out there that doesn't cost money.  Instead it costs in service, in time, in frustration and in reputation.  It costs in lost privacy, in information bombardment (to quote the title of Nick Bontis' book) and in an erosion of expectation

"You get what you pay for," was yesterday's advice.  I'd suggest that's still good advice for today.  I'll still be downloading apps without paying out of pocket, but I am under no illusion that any of them are free.  And feel free to demand all sorts of "freebies" from the people with whom you do business, but make no mistake; ain't nothing free.

Smart Phones and Dumb Users

I've often wondered if anyone has measured the lost productivity when a company issues a new phone to an employee.  Although I've moved beyond the "gee whiz!" reaction to a new phone that had me obsessing over it for a full workday, I still spend more than a few hours just figuring out where everything is, what it can do, what new apps I need and which I can delete...

So I asked our I.T. guy that very question.  "Are you concerned with the lost productivity every time you issue me a replacement smartphone?"

His answer was the first wake up call on a new phone.  "We've got you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with this thing.  Go ahead and take a few hours to figure it out.  We'll get 'em back."

Spam and Speedo

It's always amusing to me that a brand name can have both a positive and negative meaning.

Take Spam, for example.  No really, take it.  I've got three cans still in my cupboard from the mid-seventies.  Spam is a pork and ham canned meat invented in 1937 by Jay Hormel.  They've sold seven billion cans of it.  But it also has negative connotations as unsolicited emails, and is defined on the web site spamlaws.com thus:

"The term spam refers to submitting the same message to a large group of individuals in an effort to force the message onto people who would otherwise choose not to receive this message.

Speedo is another brand new that evokes both positive and negative reactions.  Picture your middle aged uncle in a Speedo.  Sorry about that.  Now imagine a competitive swimmer wearing something other than a Speedo.  Sure, there are other brand names but they are all grouped, in the mind of those who don't care or know, as Speedo.

There's a lesson in this for all of us.  If you figure it out, let me know.   I'm buffaloed.

Young Men...Some Advice

Guys, I don't mind telling you I'm a little peeved at you.  I won't go so far as to say disappointed, but I think you can do better.  I'm talking now to the young fellows, under the age of thirty or thereabouts.  You guys are pretty cool most of the time, and I like almost everyone of you I meet, but you're innate uncoolness is, well....uncool.  Here's why and remember, this is coming from a guy who has NEVER been cool.

High Priced Razors and Shaving Cream:  Why do I pay more for razors now than I did for a full tank of gas when I was in my twenties?  It's your fault.  Here's the thing - the razor companies are targeting all this high priced smoothness right at you, and you guys walk around with two days of stubble on your faces, so what the heck do you need all those expensive blades for? 

Don't think I don't know the answer to that question - I do know and it's uncool.  It's your business, but when it starts hitting me in the wallet because you're afraid of a little razor burn where it itches, it reluctantly becomes my problem too.

You're Fat:  Too many of you are at least 20 pounds heavier than you should be.  Uncool.  Don't deny it.  And don't blame it on the beer and give it cute names like the "Freshman 15".  It's you and your processed food and your lazy fat asses.  It's not the beer; it's the nachos.  The average dude in his twenties today looks like what we used to call the "fat guy".  Don't believe me?  Look at your dad's high school yearbook and see how many guys you can count in his graduating class who are as heavy as you or your friends.  Now count the heavy dudes in your yearbook.  I rest my case.  It's not cool, and you're killing yourselves.

Personal Responsibility:  Remember that scene in Good Will Hunting when Robin Williams tells Matt Damon "it's not your fault" over and over again until Matt's crying like a baby?  Get ready to well up.

"It's not the beer, it's YOUR fault you're fat and in terrible shape; it's not the beer, it's not the beer..."  Crying yet?  Well stop it, and don't expect a hug. 

Hugging it Out:  Guys, did you never learn to shake hands?  A good, firm handshake?  What's that, your dad never taught you, and neither did your mother's boyfriend?  OK, stop with the quivering lip and STOP hugging your friends like you're a couple of schoolgirls.  It's unbelievably uncool.

A Full Day:  If you punch a time clock and work to a schedule, enjoy your 8 hours and enjoy your paycheque because that's all you're getting.  I'm sorry to say that until you get off the time clock, your career ain't a career...it's a job.  Nothing wrong with that if you're not interested in a career.

What motivates you; your goals and aspirations and professional responsibilities, or a ticking clock?

Size Doesn't Matter except when you're comparing.  But it's just a paycheque and some are larger than others.  Don't worry about the size of your buddy's bank account, car or apartment.  As long as you've got a roof over your head and you can meet your obligations, there's no need to take a job or to leave school for a job just because it pays relatively well.  Concentrate on your vocation and do what you love, or do what you have to do until you can do what you love.  The money will follow. 

I'm not your Dad
Look, stop thinking of me as some old guy who sounds like your dad.  I am; but stop.  Think of me as future you coming back to warn present you.  Except I can do more push ups than you can and I'm statistically likely to live to a much older age.  But damn, doesn't your chinstrip face fuzzy thing look cool! 

Actually, it really doesn't.

Not my Cup of Tea, at any Price

I had breakfast with a professional associate.  We meet regularly and the talk is sometimes about the challenges each of us face.  Different industries, remarkably similar challenges.  We both learn from each other.   We're both in sales.  I am in hotel sales, he is in technology.

This time the talk took a turn to salaries, and he asked for an idea of what people in our industry earned.  I told him how much I made last year  He was suprised.  I could tell by what he said.

"I'm surprised," he said.  "I thought you made more."

It was my turn to be surprised.  I thought I was doing OK.  Actually, I am doing OK.  I guess I could be making more if I applied my skills and enthusiasm to selling his widgets. but his widgets do nothing for me, and I love the industry I'm in.  Sure, I'd like to make the kind of dough I imagine he makes, but you can't do that in my bakery.  (See what I did there?)  The truth is, in his industry I'd be an underperformer who despises his job because I'd be selling a product I don't understand, that I don't believe in from the heart.  He'd have to fire me and I'd go back to doing what I enjoy, if they'd take me.

My industry, the hospitality industry, doesn't pay a lot, it certainly doesn't pay what most of us are worth.  If it did you couldn't afford your burger, frankly.  You couldn't afford to stay in my hotel, if it did.  It is, however, the industry I love.  I study it, dream about it, blog about it and wouldn't trade my career for all the tea in China.

Come to think of it, I think the lady at table 12 could use another cup of tea.   Gotta go.

The "H" Word

Father Mychal Judge, NYFD Chaplain
First casualty September 11, 2001

Before a couple of planes hit a couple of buildings in Manhattan, I had never heard a firefighter referred to as a "hero" before. I'm not saying they aren't or weren't, I had just never heard it said. The title has since been bestowed on military casualties in Canada's latest war, and the highway between Trenton and Toronto renamed the Highway of Heroes in honour of the route they take on their final journey after repatriation at CFB Trenton.

I have no argument with any of this, and I hesitate to even mention it for fear my words might be misunderstood.  John Allemang of the Globe and Mail, on the other hand, minces no words.  "Death in a war zone isn't automatically heroic, no matter what Ontario's Highway of Heroes procession route implies."

Read his article here:  http://www.theglobeandmail.com/sports/baseball/from-alomar-to-gretzky-to-mozart-reflections-on-true-greatness/article2107270/

If we overuse a word, it loses it's meaning. One doesn't become a hero simply by employment status, vocation or calling. One doesn't become a hero by the way that they died, but by the actions they took while they lived, sometimes that lead to their death. Just being there isn't enough. Extraordinary action in unusual circumstances on behalf of another, and not on behalf of a country blissfully engrossed otherwise with day-to-day life, but on behalf of a present and engaged other who is in immediate danger.

This is my definition. The Merriam-Webster on-line dicationary somewhat supports my definition, and to a degree, that of the common definition of a "central figure in an event, period, or movement".  John Allemang says it simply, "A...hero is someone who faces down common sense to do the uncommon thing."

If everyone's a hero simply by association, then no one's a hero.

That would be a loss to society on two levels, first the loss of yet another word watered down to become a bland modern colloquialism, and secondly the loss of what it truly means to be a hero, notwithstanding the very many examples of truly heroic individual behaviour by the men and women in Manhattan on 9/11, and of the Canadian Armed Forces in Afghanistan.

Guys' Guys

The lost art of being a guy is being "frittered away" (as my dad used to say when he'd lecture me about my misspent paper route earnings) by the wrong headed (but very funny) portrayal of dads as dolts, young men as nothing more than walking erections, and all men as bumbling fools.  Add that to the abdication of responsibility by many fathers today, and we've got a society of thirty-something men who don't even know how to shake hands properly, don't know why they should put in a full day's work which might mean staying late and coming in early, or don't know when to go home to their wives and families.  That's a two-parter - first you have to go home, and when you do, you have to be there.  Put down the game controllers gentlemen, you have a three-year-old of your own now.

Here's some guys who are real guys (in spite of the fact that some are fictional):

• Dick Van Dyke as Rob Petrie in the Dick Van Dyke Show, yes, he was a bit awkward, but he knew his stuff and his family and friends were important to him.  He was the boss, but felt no need to flaunt the title; he was in there with the troops.  A reformed alcoholic in real life, Van Dyke recognized his failings, hit rock bottom, and did something about it.  Still working hard into his eighties.
• Daniel Craig as James Bond because he can and does get hurt.  He isn't very pretty at the best of times but like most men, he looks pretty good all cleaned up and wearing a tux.  He doesn't take any crap from the boss because he's just that damned good.
• John Spencer as Leo McGarry, the boss who doesn't take any crap from his reports in The West Wing; he's all business; loved by his underlings and by his friends but always from a respectful distance.  
• Pope Benedict XVI - he's an unapologetic expert in his field, a leader, and he gets straight to the uncomfortable point without messing around.  You may not want to hear what he has to say, but that's precisely why he has to say it.  I know a few priests who are just like that - damned hard to argue with them in matters of faith; damned glad that we're on the same side.
• Donny Osmond and all the real life dudes like him who have stayed true to their faith, their wives and their families, guys have have stuck with their careers when times got tough, and guys who are driven to succeed not at the expense of others, but by sheer determination, hard work, continuous improvement and talent.  Guys other guys secretly respect.  My financial advisor, our favourite grade school principal, a school Superintendent I know and a VP I once reported to are all men like this - stand up gentlemen, perhaps even a bit boring to some, but guys who just get it done and stay true to themselves in the process.
• Mark Wahlberg and Mario Lopez, my son's hockey coach and any other guy who is unashamedly Catholic, as best as he can be.  No one's looking for perfection in this department fellas, but one's very best effort is a shining beacon for others.
• Gary Lautens, the Toronto Star columnist who was gone too soon in 1992 (almost 20 years ago!) at the age of 63.  His writing inspired young dads like me to hang in there.  There's humour in the strangest of places, our families.  I had the chance to meet him a couple of times, and thank him for my favourite of his columns - the time he catches Jackie (his wife) eating garlic.  I loved the way he wrote about his daughter and about his sons, the oldest is my age.  His heart attack and untimely death has been one of the key motivating factors in my own exercise and healthy lifestyle; he's the reason I see my doctor annually.  I may not ever be the dad he was, but I'd like to stick around to keep trying.  God bless the Lautens family.
• Craig Kielburger / Neil Patrick Harris - boy wonders who still amaze now that they're all grown up; each making a difference in his own way.

Any man who respects his marriage vows, keeps Christ in his marriage, comes home when he should, gives his all in a job he can be proud of, and works hard to raise the best children he and his wife can send out into society is doing OK in my books.

On Smart Communities...

In most communities there's an element I have heard referred to as "movers and shakers."  These people are the ones you see at every event, every opportunity, and every reception where the wine is flowing and the shrimp is free.  They natter and gnosh, gladhand and trade bon mots, imbibe, air kiss and pat each other on the back for jobs well done, whatever it is that they do.

Frankly, it's been my experience that most "movers and shakers" are just "bobbers and weavers" in expensive suits.

The other night the usual suspects were noticeably absent and the room was mostly filled with academics and entrepreneurs who somehow found time to celebrate Windsor's Top 7 standing as one of the world's most intelligent communities.  Columnist Chris Vander Doelen of the Windsor Star in his column today succinctly describes almost exactly my thoughts on the matter, both before Monday evening and after a wonderful night, beautifully presented at the St. Clair Centre for the Arts.

Read it here 

I was a skeptic about the amount of money being spent to promote the region, but now I'm a believer.  Here's what a number one ranking would mean to a man in my position:

1.  Doors would be opened in Toronto and Ottawa as I sell Windsor as a convention destination to provincial and national associations.
2.  One more reason for people to consider our region for tourism, investment and relocation, as if an extra month of fresh vegetables, golfing and nice weather on either side of the summer wasn't enough
3.  A fresh infusion of influential dandies and dilletantes
3.  The long term viability of a pretty cool city for my wife and I, but also for our kids.
4.  I look like a genius for relocating the family here all those years ago.

Stay tuned to see how it all turns out.  The World's Most Intelligent Community will be named in June 2011.

http://www.intelligentcommunity.org/

The Value of Gas and its Influence on Behaviour

When gas was going for about 79 cents a litre, I made the stupid error of telling my dad that I thought it should sit at a buck a litre, and maybe people would stop driving such big gas-guzzlers, and as much.

What I failed to take into account was how much that would affect a man like my dad, driving three times a week for dialysis, on a fixed income.  He would no more welcome a twenty-cent hike than he did my granola crunching self-righteousness.  I think he told me to go hug a tree, except he didn't say "hug" and he didn't say "tree".

At the risk of revisiting the situation, I would suggest that at current high gasoline prices, I can't help but wonder what would happen to prices if demand were to drop drastically.  More specifically, what if most of the 3200 people in the place where I work were to buy homes within walking distance, or on a bus route?  Would gas prices be as much of a concern?

Could we become one car families, use less fuel, bring life to downtown neighbourhoods and prosperity back to the inner city?

The Joys of Waiting

I'm at my desk working late, plugged in through the Internet to the Mighty Q in Toronto, rocking out to their "live drive" segment in which they play cuts from live concerts.  It's always great music, and sometimes my appreciation for a band or their song really grows hearing it performed outside of the studio.

Such was the case today, listening to Fleetwood Mac performing "Don't Stop" - one of the worst Fleetwood Mac tunes ever recorded, to my ears.  But in this version they perform with a live marching band, a la "Tusk" - and delivered one of the best live Fleetwood Mac tunes ever recorded, to my ears.  I was rocking out the cubicle here alone after 5:00.  Watch it here:

I resolved to YouTube it, and enjoy it again and again.  And then I remembered the days when you'd hear just a song on the radio, or just a few bars of a song (as happened with one particularly cool tune in the late seventies when I heard the last 16 bars, sourced the album and have enjoyed every tune on that disc ever since) and you couldn't wait to find the album, carefully unwrap it, gingerly place it on the turntable, take control of the arm and lower the needle gently to the groove, and then groove along - over and over again.

Not only is today's I-Pod generation missing the joy of the b-side and the bad tunes on the way to the one tune they bought the album to hear, but they are missing the sweet agony of waiting until they can afford to buy the album, or waiting to find it in the store, or buying the wrong album and discovering it's pretty cool anyway. 

They've never hummed a few bars to the scruffy dude at Sam the Record Man and followed him to the exact spot in the store where musical gold awaits, (although I hear there's an app for that). 

They're missing the joy of waiting and wanting and longing as they hum along to their collective theme song, "I Want it All (and I Want it Now)" . 

 

(That's a song from Queen's album, The Miracle.  You can find it in the  Rock section , under the Qs.  Back of the store.)

A Simple "Hello!"

You can tell a lot about a man by the way he enters, and leaves the workplace.

 

Years ago when I was just a pup with a tie, I learned a valuable lesson from Peter Hunt, a seasoned veteran of the restaurant industry.  He used to arrive for a shift all smiles and shaking hands, saying "hi" to everyone and sharing a story or a laugh.  When he left, it was the same, all "goodnight!", and "thanks for your work today!"  (Contrast that to a boss who once took until two in the afternoon to acknowledge my presence, and we'd been in the office together since 9 a.m.)  But I'm not one to learn by example, or wasn't at the time.  It took Peter to tell me what I missing.  And it took my last shift before Christmas, when I left without saying goodnight, tired and weary, and Peter chased me out into the snow and called my name, "Jeremy!" 

I turned to see what I had forgotten, and he came up to me, shook my hand, and said simply, "Merry Christmas." 

Since that day, and every work day since, I made it my goal to never enter the office, the kitchen, the hotel - the workplace, without a greeting to everyone present, (and sometimes that means going looking for them), or left for the night without stopping by every desk, cubicle, office, section of the restaurant or into the depths of the walk-in freezer, without saying goodnight.

Thanks Peter.

I'm Your Homeless Guide!

Years ago in Atlanta for a conference I had the opportunity to take an evening walk downtown.  Almost as soon as I got started I was approached by a man who offered to be my "homeless guide".  He explained that panhandling (my word) was against the law and strenuously prosecuted but providing a tour guide experience for a tip was permitted.  I have no idea how close to the actual Atlanta by-law his explanation was, but I do know this:  I admired his entrepreneurial spirit, and the couple of hours we spent walking and talking were some of the most enjoyable I have ever spent in conversation.  


His view on life was different and enlightening on so many levels.  We argued politics and who was to blame for his situation, and conceded that both social and personal culpability have a part to play in homelessness.  At the end of the tour we shook hands, I tipped him well for his hospitality and I went on my way.

In London, England organized tours given by homeless people to convention delegates called Unseen Tours are a reminder to those of us in the conference and hotel industry are in the people business – not just the "people who can afford the hors d'oeuvres and conference rates" business.  We need more of this, in more places, and more often.

READ MORE: http://goo.gl/UXWgR        HERE'S THE WEBSITE  http://goo.gl/XnlzQ

Sales and Service Should be One

These days companies are seeing more and more departments as revenue producing, and viewing most employees within their organizations as sales people.  Departments whose goals in regards to the P&L were once only to keep costs in line, are now expected to increase revenue.  This is done by upselling and by referrals to the sales team.  This is a good thing, if done with excellence and superior customer service as the goal.

A great customer oriented service advisor does not merely act as an order-taker, but as a trusted and expert advisor in the customer experience.  She suggests products or service that will enhance the customer's enjoyment of the product; for example - a service department in an automobile dealership might suggest a fluid change because, and only because the performance of the automobile will be improved, or because, and only because, it is needed.  The extra service will add revenue to the dealership's income line, but that MUST NOT be the sole reason for suggesting add-on services or products.  The same goes for appetizers and desserts in restaurants - suggested by professional servers to enhance the guest experience, not just to pad the bill.  It applies to hotel front desk clerks - upgrades to premium rooms to enhance the guest experience based on information gleaned at the reservation or check-in.  An astute representative will determine what is the purpose of the visit.  If it is to celebrate an anniversary, for example, an upgraded room for a few extra bucks might make this a memorable weekend for the couple (and make the husband who booked the hotel look like a superstar in the eyes of his adoring wife).  It applies to the service department in your company, whatever your product or service.

The flip side of the company's representative's failure to fully engage is a client who never experiences the best they have to offer for the price, or fails to get the service he needs.  "They didn't ask for it," is the telltale excuse of the order-taker, as though the customer is supposed to be the expert.  "It was OK," is the telltale appraisal of the customer experience.  OK, but not memorably good or bad.

"They didn't tell me they didn't want it," is the cry of the coward, who slips in a service or product the client might not have approved, had they known the price or the details.  In this case the employee fails to fully disclose, perhaps in embarrassment at the price or the value, or in fear of rejection by the customer.  It can happen because of the pressure of sales targets unrealistically imposed on secondary, or accidental salespeople.  (An accidental salesperson is an untrained or undertrained employee whose primary contribution is in one area, and who by the nature of his expertise has the opportunity to increase sales without the necessary intervention of the professional salesperson.)

Clearly, the optimum is a fully informed customer interaction with an empathetic expert that may result in increased revenue for the company, and will definitely result in increased satisfaction and repeat business and referrals (loyalty).  That requires a commitment to excellence from the top and a clearly defined statement of intent, something frequently lacking in today's business environment.

Those who get it right make money.  Those who don't scramble for every penny they can filch out of the unsuspecting client's wallet.

Gotcha!

Recently in our city a cop was "caught" playing video games in his cruiser, with pictures to prove it.  Not long ago pictures of a sleeping transit worker in Toronto were splashed across the front pages.  Our cell phones and smart phones are always at the ready to catch others in the act of offending our sense of what they should be doing instead.

The transit union protested that instead of snapping a picture of the sleeping booth attendant, the judgmental picture taker should have checked to see if he was in any sort of distress.  It turned out to be prescient, as I am told by a someone in the know that the transit worker died not long after that picture was snapped.  It may or may not be related to what caused him to be sleeping on the job, and who cares?

Have we become a society that is quick to broadcast other's faults through social media?  In both these cases the pictures and story were picked up by the mainstream media, and the community tsk-tsk'd in shame.

Ironically, in our privacy obsessed times, a man's illness or death cannot be announced from the pulpit, nor prayers requested of the congregation, without the express permission of the family.   So, if I have a heart attack and slump over on a park bench later today, feel free to take a picture of the sleeping drunk and post it on the web.  Do not, however, do anything to help and for God's sake, don't say my name in church.  I need my privacy.

Is nothing sacred?

Why I'm Glad I'm an Air Force Brat

People sometimes ask me if I'm from Windsor. I tell them, "my dad was in the Air Force, I'm not sure where I'm from." Here's five more cool things about being a military brat:

1. I can tell military time. I don't have to subtract 12 after noon to calculate the hour. I use the 24-hour clock on my wristwatch. There's no misunderstanding what time of day it was if my notes say we met at 08:00 or at 20:00.

2. I respect authority. I may not like the person in authority. I may even publicly disagree in the decision making phase, but always respectfully and appropriately. In the end, when a decision is made I respect the office and move on. Authority is not a bad word, and neither is obedience.

3. I like hierarchy; another word for it is accountability. Reportability (I made that word up). Answerability. (I didn't make that word up but is nevertheless not a word). Support.

4. I may not like some of the dumb things my team mates do, and they definitely do not like some of the dumb things I do, but even military children know that no matter how we feel about each other, we stand together against all external challengers.

5. I learned at an early age how to make really good friends and then move on at a moment's notice when our dads got transferred. Sure, there were tears, but they were soon replaced by laughter with new friends. We learned early a welcoming attitude towards others. This skill has served me well in the hospitality industry.

Next time - why I'm glad I was a Sea Cadet in my teenage years.

Today's lesson is actually about Obedience

In her column "Today's Lesson: Bow to Authority" Windsor Star columnist Anne Jarvis compares the disobedience of some silly white girls to the courageous action of Rosa Parks who, when she herself was still a young lady, risked her life to put an end to state sanctioned racism and oppression. Black people were being lynched simply because of the colour of their skin in Rosa Park's time. Ms. Jarvis does great disservice to the Civil Rights movement and to our own area's history by comparing teenage rebellion to the fight for the dignity of all people, regardless of skin colour.

I remind the columnist that this is the same school that took strong disciplinary action with disobedient students in the hockey program just last year. If these children don't learn about consequence in school, then they will learn about it in the workforce where obstinate disobedience is not celebrated and can lead to loss of employment.

You go girls, indeed, go right back to class, lesson learned.

A brief call to the school principal might have clarified the issue for the columnist. Read Ms. Jarvis' poorly considered opinion here:

Today's lesson: Bow to authority

Thanks George!

In my home we really enjoy watching "Undercover Boss." It's the CBS show where CEOs go "undercover", disguising themselves as rookies so they can truly learn about what's happening on the front lines. The whole thing is videotaped, and the cover story is about making a documentary so the unsuspecting staff is fooled into behaving normally, as normally as you can when you're being filmed.

The CEOs experience the good and the bad, and then things get ugly. They hand out perks and prizes randomly to employees with compelling life stories, but without creating universal policy to help all employees who might be experiencing similar hardship. Everyone weeps. Young men and women with dreams are magically whisked by their counterparts with similar dreams simply for having appeared on camera. Tears flow; serendipity! No long term plans for a company-wide career track are implemented. This is usually a case of being in the right place at the right time.

I'm not an Exec, so I don't know, but how is it that:

1. The CEOs' impersonation of a new-hire usually means not shaving and skipping showers in a crummy motel? Really - you run a company that hires people who show up on day-one looking like they could use a shower and a shave? You think so little of your workers and customers that this is how you imagine you'll be incognito?

2. I get why a CEO doesn't know the nitty-gritty of the front line process, but what's wrong in the exec offices that this stuff isn't being discovered, worked on and resolved by everyone from the entry-level supervisor to the divisional VP long before the CEO shows up?

3. What kind of CEO so insulates himself (and they're predominantly white men, it seems) that he doesn't even know he's got quality and service issues? Do you really need an elaborate scheme to tell your brain what your gut already knows?

I know of companies where the President telegraphs his visit far enough in advance to allow for carpet cleaning and a fresh coat of paint. I've know of restaurant companies where the Exec team never eats a meal that isn't personally prepared for them by the highest ranking culinarian on shift. They wouldn't want to risk finding out what their dwindling customer base already knows - quality is hit and miss.

And when I was a much younger man I worked for a company where the President showed up completely unannounced in our very busy restaurant two hours away from his office in Toronto, saw we were getting hanmered and jumped in to give us a hand. He started by grabbing a broom and dustpan, and then washed his hands and dug in; he was a pretty mean fry-guy as I recall. I'm not sure how many billions of burgers McDonald's had served by then but George Cohon, President of McDonald's Canada sure helped us sell a few more that day.

That was 32 years ago. I didn't get a chance to say it then, but thanks for your help, George!