Your Buddy's Rec Room

I was enjoying one of my favourite vinyl albums recently, featuring the most perfect pop song ever written.  "Baby What a Big Surprise" by Chicago (seriously - I wish more reports and presentations would follow this simple formula - 3 verses, a recurring chorus and a bridge between the 2nd and 3rd verses).

Maybe more on that later, but in preparing the album for play, I reflected on some simple social and business skills maybe missing from those who've never heard an album in their buddy's rec room.

Care and Attention  The vinyl album is very delicate, taking only a piece of dust or a percussive movement (like a heavy footstep near the turntable) to cause the needle to skip and potentially ruin the album.  We learned to take care, holding the album by the edges to avoid fingerprints on the play surface, making sure it was clean before playing, and treating the area around the turntable as a strict no-go zone during album play.

I've dropped my mp3 music device so many times I've lost count.  I've thrown a CD into a box without it's cover.  Yeah, you can damage it but not usually on the first try.  Albums were a lot less forgiving.  It was someone else's life's work.  Someone else's album.  Someone's favourite song.  We respected that.

Good Manners and Hospitality  Someone had to host the album-playing get-together.  Someone had to get up and flip the album to the b-side, and then take it off and put it away.  And the guy standing next to the turntable inevitably turned to his guests and asked, "any requests?"   Yeah, it was his (parent's) rec-room, his stereo, and his collection.   Sure, we brought a few albums of our own, but the host set the tone.  In asking for requests he showed respect and good manners.

Man, I'd love the next board meeting, or committee meeting, or department meeting to work like that.  "I'm done with my personal agenda, thanks for indulging me.  Anyone else have a thought to share?"

New Music  We didn't all listen to the same music.  I heard some great albums I would never have purchased myself, and frankly never did.  It was enough to know a friend who had that album and would bring it along if asked.  Decades later I've finally bought artists' music that friends introduced to me.

Respect  Only the owner of the album could take the plastic off a new album.  Some people left the plastic on to protect the cover.  Bad idea.  Common wisdom was that the contracting plastic might eventually damage the vinyl inside.  Even if your friend was foolish enough to leave the plastic on, it was the full extent of your responsibility to point it out, and then shut the hell up.  People don't always see the obvious, and that's not our problem.

Great Conversation  There were no phone interruptions.  Sometimes someone would join the rec-room session in progress, but mostly it was just two or three of us, maybe with a bit of whisky in hand, listening to rock (it wasn't called "Classic Rock" yet, and we didn't always listen to rock) and solving all the problems of the world.  And sometimes just sitting there silently and appreciating the artistry.  Passing the album cover around to stare at the artwork, to read the credits, and sometimes to clarify the lyrics.

People at work should be treated with such respect for their time, their work, their opinions and their company.

"These are the best of times"  sang Styx way back when.  There's no reason they can't be now.

Sales and the Golf Course

Hey - this isn't what you think.  This is not a post touting the value of a good golf game towards building relationships in sales.  That's a no brainer - a sales person should be able to golf believably, if not necessarily well.

Not long ago I golfed in a best-ball golf tournament (in which each move forward advances on the strength of the best shot of the foursome) with a co-worker and few customers.

"I don't understand!" my co-worker said in frustration, as her ball once again worm-burned down the fairway a few yards. "I put all my strength into it and I still can't move it very far!"   "Welcome to sales," I answered.

It's the ongoing frustration of the best sales people and with me, too.  We do our very best, give it 100% with enthusiasm and still sometimes we get caught in a slump.  It's hard to stay positive.

But our golfing partner with a the fabulous swing summed it up a little later.  "You know," he told my friend, "with a few lessons you could send that ball a mile."  Translation - she's got what she needs to be successful except she keeps doing the same things that are keeping her from success.  She doesn't know what she doesn't know.

That wasn't lost on me.

Being open to continuous improvement is the key to a good game, whether in sales or on the golf course, and if it's a particularly good day, both at the same time.

Call Your Association

I'm an active member of four associations professionally, and several others personally.  I'm actually considering membership in another, and recently contacted them on a business matter.  The service, to say the least, was lacklustre and had been on the few occasions we had interacted in the past.  I don't blame the individual with whom I was dealing, although I don't condone bad manners.  I blame the management who haven't engendered an institutional philosophy of service - be it the volunteer board or their only employee - the Executive Director through whom all other employees are hired, and keep their jobs.

These are the people who speak for us as a group.  They lobby politicians and influence votes on laws that affect our industry - your industry, whatever it is, if you are a member of a professional association.  When the press needs a comment on something that affects your industry, the executive director of your association will likely be first person approached.

If the hired professionals, be they many or be they few, can't provide a level of courtesy that reflects that of your organization, maybe it's time to rethink membership.

Or get on the board and change things.

Advice from a More Experienced Blogger Than I

Warren Kinsella wrote a nice piece on how to deal with on-line trolls.  This is a person who says negative things anonymously - generally just stirring things up.  I was accused of being a troll once, which helped me to be a little more careful about any comments I make on-line, and to whom.  (I wasn't technically a troll since I identified myself but the clever blogger turned my last name "Tyrrell" into "Troll."  She's so smart.)

I've been the victim of trolls in the past, but for the most part what I write is so inconsequential you'd have to be a really bored troll to notice.  Cowardly and anonymous?  Yes.  But undeniably bored if you're reading this drivel.

Here's Kinella's piece.  I completely object to the term "human garbage" in the body of his essay, but I suspect he doesn't care what I think.  http://goo.gl/FgrAuP

Swing and a Miss?

It really depends on how you look at things.  Is this great idea a hit or a miss?

On July 1st a major Chinese buffet chain in Canada offered a free meal to any Canadian citizen who could prove their citizenship by proffering a passport, birth certificate or a citizenship card.  A hit?  You might think so, with line-ups around the block, with reportedly at least a two-hour, and as much as a four-hour wait to get in.  But why did they do it?  How did this fit into their overall marketing plan?  What was the benefit to the company and to the franchisees who ate the cost? (pardon the pun.)

Let's reverse engineer the activity to the goals, not knowing what the goals were but applying some probable outcomes as though they were planned.

• Goal #1 - No Sales:  Assumption:  Sales will be very low, as guests who didn't know about the free buffet will decide it didn't make sense to pay for a meal when everyone else in line is getting it free.  Mission accomplished!
• In fact, it's safe to say there were next-to-no sales
• In fact, it's safe to say that anyone planning to go there and pay for a meal took one look at the line and chose another restaurant
• In the hotel biz that's called "compression" - when clients don't get their first choice of property because it's full, so they go somewhere else
• which is fine if it's full of paying guests
• and is just plain silly if people are eating for free
• Goal #2 - Trade off Zero Sales on July 1st for a huge increase in sales the rest of the year:  Assumption:  Sales will grow in the coming year 
• Because everyone in line was so grateful they'll pay to come back next time
• Really?  The only people who would wait four hours in the hot July sun are there for a free meal, and probably won't be back until the next free meal deal
• This isn't the same as McDonald's free coffee offer, which is meant to convert customers from Tim Hortons at the start of their "Roll Up the Rim" offer
• Goal #3 - Increased Incremental Sales.  Assumption: Patrons who saved money on the meal instead spent an equal amount of money at the bar, or left it in tips for the serving staff
• Ummm....does anyone really believe that?
• Bueller?
• Bueller?
• Goal #3(a) - Happy Staff
• see above
• Goal #4 - Create awareness
• Are you still trying to guess the name of the unnamed restaurant chain I deliberately haven't referenced?  If so they failed to create awareness.
• If you have one of these restaurants in your town, you already know it's there.  It's the biggest Chinese buffet.  No further awareness of the fact that they serve food is necessary.  Period.  Now, had the promotion revolved about a corporate charitable endeavour, like a portion of the price of the meal on Canada Day going to support Sick Kids Hospital?  Another story.  It's just not this story.
• We spent about 10 minutes discussing this in the office this morning, so I guess they were successful in creating awareness after the fact.  
• none of us knew about it before it happened
• maybe we're not their target market.  So who was the target market?
• Goal #5 -  Reward and Recognize only Canadian citizens - (the target market)
• and piss off immigrants who had to pay. 
• because everyone likes to feel like a second-class citizen when they go out to lunch
• no they don't
• Goal #6 - Anger fellow strip mall tenants and other business owners
• the line-ups extended well past the front doors of the other businesses, and presumably there wasn't a parking spot to be found as this restaurant's patrons would have occupied all available spaces for a disproportionate amount of time, most of it in a line-up waiting to get in
• Goal #7 - Create an internet buzz
• it didn't trend
• about half of the tweets were negative, referring to the long line-ups (in fairness, the other 50% were either positive or neutral)
• if they thought to provide water or otherwise make the wait a bit more comfortable, no one tweeted about it (a missed opportunity)
• and what if Grandma had face-planted into the asphalt in the heat?  Would that have created a buzz?
• Yes.  Yes it would have.  Especially if someone posted it to YouTube or Vine.
• They say there's no such thing as bad publicity
• They lied
• Goal #8 - Disillusioned Franchisees:  The franchisees paid their staff time-and-a-half for the privilege of not making any money that day.  In fact, they lost money.
• how is that a good idea?
• Isn't this the same chain that jacks up the prices on other stat holidays?

Last Time I Did That I Got Yelled At

"Last time I did that I got yelled at!"  No you didn't.  No you didn't.  Well, probably you didn't.

I sometimes hear that from the people I work with.  "I got yelled at.  I got in trouble."  No you didn't; in the last 20 years in the work force the only time anyone raised their voice was to be heard over the laughter.

Statements like that are indicative of a deeper issue - whether they red-flag a buried issue between supervisor and direct report, or a thin-skin.

Sue Shellenberger, in her blog post "How to Take Criticism Well" suggests that the ability to take criticism is a well-developed skill.  She includes a nifty chart on how to react, and what to do if you react badly.

Read the full article here:  http://goo.gl/uqmzj6

Corporate Sociopath

I started working full time and in earnest in the 80s.  It was a different time.  Unnecessarily long hours.  Cutthroat workplace competition for the next promotion.  C-Level by the age of 30!  Absolute fear of committing a CLM (career limiting move).

At one point early in my career I found myself working side-by-side with a corporate sociopath.  I didn't know it until I happened upon an article describing her qualities to a tee.  Armed with that information I was able to share it with others who were in danger, which was frankly, anyone standing between her and her goal.

The attached article lists the signs of a sociopath.  She displayed easily 5 or 6 of them.

The good news was, as long as she didn't report to you, you were safe.  Everyone, and I do mean EVERYONE who she ever reported to ended up unemployed as she plotted her upward mobility.  Those of us who reported to her, which I at one point I did, were perfectly safe as long as she detected no threat.

The truth is that the few years we worked together were the most productive of my career mostly because I knew her game and I played my part well enough that she gave me leeway.  I was, in no way, a threat.  In fact, working around her corporate sociopathic idiosyncrasies I gained many skills I wouldn't have otherwise, such as learning to recognize her many great qualities and to work together to achieve our departmental goals.

Is there a corporate sociopath in your workplace?  It doesn't have to hurt you, necessarily.  Read the article here: http://goo.gl/gNVcgU

Cold Call Hell

I like getting cold calls from sales people.  I learn a lot from them.  Some of them are very good and walk me through the buying process expertly.  I literally take notes.

I always try to return calls to sales people who leave me a voice mail.  I know how frustrating it can be to not get a call back.

Sometimes, and frankly not very often, a really bad sales person will call.  Today was one of those days.  The guy launched right into his spiel for a product we could never possibly use, and after talking a mile a minute for about 3 minutes he asked me if it was something in which I'd be interested, a direct question that invited a direct answer.  Not a "how does that sound?" open ended question, but a closed yes or no question.  "Is this something that interests you?"

I gave him a chance to clarify.  "Are you asking me if I'd be interested in buying your product?"  "Yes," he said.  "Is this something you could use in your operation?"

"No," I responded politely.  "No, it's really not."  I waited for him to probe a bit, try again, restate his case...anything.  After a prolonged period of uncomfortable silence he finally thanked me for my time and hung up and went back to his misery of unsuccessful cold calling, probably wondering why nobody's buying.

Networking

Charlie Chaplin and Albert Einstein

You never know what happens when two people from different vocations get together.

Who knows what these two were talking about?

Meet someone new.  Before you do that, read this: http://goo.gl/4xkECi

The Man in the Mirror

Say what you like about Michael Jackson, his song "Man in the Mirror" perfectly addressed matters of conscience, and judgement.

Recently there was a heated and frustrated conversation in our office regarding the obvious dishonesty we had encountered from sources outside of our venue, and thus far beyond our control.  On our team it is understood that misrepresentation of product or circumstance is not tolerated or supported.  What that means, practically, is that if we tell you we have someone else interested and we need you to make your buying decision it means that we have someone else interested and we need you to make your buying decision.  It isn't a tactic.

When I first started traveling for business I did so with people on a per diem.  They didn't need to collect receipts for meals.  That wasn't my situation - I paid for everything on my personal credit card and submitted an expense report.  One of my peers offered me his receipt, worth a few bucks more than my actual meal cost.  It happened again a couple of weeks ago - a dinner receipt worth more than what I actually spent.  The idea was that I'd claim the higher amount and pocket the difference.  I'm told it happens a lot.

I'm not saying I'm a saint, I'm not saying I wasn't and haven't been tempted, but I do know this.  It's  already not pretty when I look in the mirror.

I don't want to make it any uglier by seeing a liar staring back.